


Just Part of Who You Are

by Reaping



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Bisexual Derek Hale, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Bonding, Comfort, Coming Out, Confessions, First Kiss, Genderfluid Stiles Stilinski, I'm not even sure what that is called sorry, Jackson is always a dick, Light Angst, M/M, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Stiles POV, Stiles-centric, canon divergent after season 4, genderfluid phobia, somewhat pre-slash, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4925662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reaping/pseuds/Reaping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is genderfluid and decides that he's tired of hiding it from the pack. It mostly goes how you'd hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Part of Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Okay - important notes!
> 
> This is unbeta'd. Any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone. I am also not genderfluid and I may have gotten things wrong (I hope not). Please feel free to correct me via comments and I will edit the work. I did research, I hope I did it right. I wrote this because I effed up and hurt a friend by not understanding how hurtful something I said was and decided I needed to educate myself. This is the first thing I've written for TW, so if the characters feel off, I apologize and again invite you to tell me where I got it wrong so I can do better in the future.
> 
> If you feel that something is not tagged that should be tagged, please let me know!

Stiles was nervous. He'd always known he was different than his friends, but it was one thing being different in your head or the safety of your home, it was another to step outside and let everyone see who you really were. At least who you were some days. Stiles was assigned male at birth, but some days he just didn't feel like one. Not deep down inside where it counted. Some days he was most definitely not a boy. He was terrified when he told his mother, but she'd only smiled at him and asked if he wanted to be called something else on those days (he didn’t), and maybe did he want to shop for clothes for those days too so that his outside would better match who he felt like on the inside (he did). He cried and she held him and said she'd love him forever and always no matter what. She sat next to him and held his hand as they told his father. John ran his fingers over Stiles’ hair and told him exactly what his mother had said, he loved him no matter what.

The first time Scott came over unannounced and found Stiles in a skirt, he thought this was it for their friendship. Scott surprised him (he was good at that), merely cocking his head to the side before shrugging and asking if Stiles wanted to play Halo for bit. It was a relief. Eventually Scott asked him why, and Stiles explained about his fluidity – how some days he just didn’t feel right as a boy entirely. It wasn’t a sex thing, wasn’t body dysmorphia (he was perfectly fine with the parts he was born with, he didn't have any urge to change that aspect of himself), it was just that some days he felt more right in a skirt or a dress or leggings – wanted maybe a little makeup. Scott gave him a crooked smile and just said “okay”.

It wasn’t that often – Stiles did his research, knew that some people went through multiple changes in a day – for him it was maybe once a month since he was a child. He didn’t usually go to school on those days, afraid of what people would say or do, the world was changing but not really fast enough for him to feel safe being himself. His father understood, wished that it was different, but understood. Stiles was tired of it all though, of not being able to be himself all the time, regardless of what he was wearing. He was a senior – he’d survived rogue alphas, hunters, kanimas, and evil fox spirits – half of the people he knew were more than they seemed and he was tired of hiding away who he really was.

He felt a nervous thrum in his belly as he dressed for the pack meeting. He slid on a pair of fitted black skinny jeans, a pink lacy camisole, and a black button up over that, only the bottom two buttons pushed through. He added a pair of pale pink converse and headed to the mirror. His hair had gotten just long enough for him to gel the front, twisting it into a slight pouf like some of the models with shorter hair often did. He opened a small drawer in the washstand and pulled out the little bit of makeup he’d acquired that was still good, carefully lining his eyes before sweeping some shadow across them. He added a small measure of blush to his cheekbones and finished it off with a clear coat of gloss over his lips, breathing a sigh of relief at his reflection and feeling right for the first time since he’d dragged himself out of bed that morning. He clattered down the stairs, grabbing his keys off the hook and angling towards the door.

“Stiles?” his name coming out as a question. He glanced over at his father, sitting in an easy chair and reading the paper, shoes kicked off but uniform still on from his night shift at the sheriff’s station.

“It’s time dad, I don’t want to keep hiding who I am, and if they can’t accept me…then they can’t,” his voice shook on the last few words, causing his dad to get up from the chair and stride over to him. “They love you son, and if you can accept everything they are, they can accept who you are.” John clapped him on the shoulder, hand squeezing before lifting away. Stiles nodded, clearing his throat to fight against the knot forming there, before giving his dad a half-smile and heading out.

****

The drive to the loft didn’t take much time at all, his fingers drumming nervously against the steering wheel as he pulled into a parking space and shut off the jeep. He took a few deep breaths, knee bouncing out his nerves, before he climbed out and headed into the building. Nobody seemed to be downstairs so he shut himself into the lift and headed up. In what felt like seconds, he was standing in front of the large metal doors, debating knocking or turning around. Before he could make a decision, they slid open revealing Scott. Scott who squinted at Stiles before smiling and wrapping Stiles in a tight hug, mumbling about being proud of Stiles. He chuckled a little at his best friend, patting him on the back and pulling away before stepping around Scott and heading into the loft. Lydia was the first to spot him, mouth falling open in a tiny “o” before hopping up and rapidly making her way over. She narrowed her eyes and walked around Stiles in a circle, grasping his chin and tilting his head back and forth. “Not bad Stilinski, but we’re going shopping after this.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around his middle, hugging him softly before turning so she was standing next to him, an arm around his waist and guiding him towards the sofa. That was it, no judgement, no questions. He remembered why he loved her (still does, just not in the same way).

Kira was the next, and with her attention came the attention of everyone else. “Ohmygosh Stiles! Or is it Stiles? I mean, is it not Stiles? Is there something else I should call you, or not call you? Oh god, am I being insensitive, I’m totally being insensitive, please somebody shut me up!” She rambled in that same quick way she always had, but before Stiles could tell her it was okay and that she wasn’t doing anything wrong and that Stiles was fine, Jackson (recently back from London – yay) piped up. “What the hell Stilinski – I mean, I knew you were different but man what the hell?” Stiles felt his heart sink – he knew that not everyone would be okay, but he’d hoped that at least his pack would all have his back. He felt himself flush, head dropping and eyes burning. He swallowed hard and started to back away, wanting to escape Jackson’s judging gaze and go back to the safety of his home. He could barely hear Lydia and Scott berating Jackson over the pounding of blood in his ears. And if this was bad, there’s no way he could do this at school. He gave in to the panic starting to race through him at the thought of the rest of the school reacting the same way that Jackson just had, feet turning him around, eyes filling and spilling over as he stumbled towards the door to the loft. He made it only a few steps before crashing into something – someone as it turned out. He could make out a vague Derek-shape when he looked up through his tears. He started to apologize and step around him, but Derek grabbed his arms just below the shoulder, grip firm but gentle. “Jackson, out.” Derek may not be the Alpha anymore, but his voice still held the edge of a command, and despite his sputtering protests, Scott and Lydia managed to yank him up and towards the door. Stiles couldn’t see them around Derek’s broad frame, but he heard the startled hellos from Liam and Mason as the doors slid open, heard Scott tell them nope before turning them both around too, and the clang as the door shut again. As silence descended on the loft, Derek released Stiles’ arms and gently turned him around, pushing him towards the sofa.

“Sit and explain Stiles…please,” his voice was gruff, softening as he added the please. Stiles swallowed nervously and tried to figure out how to explain gender fluidity to someone else. He stopped and started several times, not really getting any further than a broken “I”. Derek waited patiently for awhile before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Okay,” he looked at him until Stiles stopped avoiding the eye contact. “I had a sister, Christina, she was 7 when the fire…,” Stiles heard Derek softly clear his throat before continuing, “we loved her, and she was so happy, except that some days she wasn’t. Nobody could figure out why. One day I found her in my room, trying to fit into my clothes, and when I asked she told me that she wasn’t a girl, not really, at least not all the time. That day she was a boy and her name was Chris and she hated that nobody else seemed to know that or understand that. She hated answering to Christina on those days. I didn’t know what she meant, but we talked to my mom and she held her and told her it was okay. She sat us down, she explained about being bigender to all of us. It was…an adjustment, I won’t lie to you. It was harder for some of our pack than others, but she explained it in a way we understood. It was just part of who Christina was. The same as being a wolf was part of who we were. The same as this is just a part of you are, just like how sometimes you’re an asshole is part of who you are.” That startled a laugh out of Stiles, and the corners of Derek’s mouth quirked up in a small smile.

“Dude, I think that is more words than I’ve heard you use in the past two years, did you hurt yourself?” Stiles’ sarcastic retort was ruined by the smile on his face at knowing that Derek understood and that this wouldn’t change anything. Not that he’d mind some changes, just, not the ones he’d been afraid of happening when he decided to reveal this other part of himself. Derek’s foot flicked out, gently tapping against his shin as he muttered “asshole” again before standing up and offering Stiles a hand, which he accepted with slight hesitation – Derek didn’t often willingly touch him after all. A strong yank had Stiles on his feet before being wrapped gently in a hug from Derek, only slightly awkward because this was something entirely new for them. He felt Derek pat him on the back a couple of times before he stepped away. “Alright, that was – that. So…I’m gonna go, since obviously we’re not having a pack meeting anymore.” He nodded at Derek and made his way back to the doors, sliding them open before stepping out. Just before he closed them again he whispered thank you under his breath, knowing that Derek would hear him.

****

_Three Months Later_

Jackson was still a dick – he’d gotten marginally better in the past few months but was still mostly a dick – however, beyond an apology for his behavior at the loft, he never again criticized Stiles for wearing skirts or dresses or any other form of “womens” (and wasn’t that just the most bs thing he’d ever heard – who gendered clothing honestly?) clothing. Stiles assumed that Lydia had a lot to do with that. Her offer of shopping wasn’t really an offer so much as it was an order. She told him, in no uncertain terms, that if he needed to wear certain clothing some days, then he would be wearing good stuff. She also helped him pick out better makeup for his skin tone and taught him tricks to apply it so it lasted all day, proving once again that he was not wrong about her being a goddess. He also thinks she’s the reason why nobody at school ever said anything when he stopped taking personal days and started going to school in whatever clothes felt right for that day. Kira eventually calmed down and stopped worrying that she was offending him every time she opened her mouth. It took a month, but it happened. Liam and Mason were full of questions, but they weren’t rude and seemed to accept that it was just a part of him with no trouble. The whole werewolf reveal thing probably made a big impact in how easily they accepted everything else. Finstock still called him Bilinski regardless of what he was wearing, so nothing really changed there. The biggest change was his relationship with Derek. It seemed like talking about Christina had opened the floodgates for him. He started talking about his family more, not just to Stiles but to all of the pack. And he was there every time Stiles had a bad day, every time he needed someone to reassure him that there wasn’t anything wrong with him, and that one day nobody would bat an eye about it. All the time together seemed to shift more in their relationship – Stiles had always known he was bisexual, had been attracted to Derek ever since he old manned them about being on private property, but he never thought the feeling was mutual. The first kiss happened on a lazy Sunday. The pack had been over to discuss the latest threat (pixies man, they were not cool at all). He stayed back to help clean up after everyone had ravaged the kitchen. He was turning to get the last set of dirty dishes and he bumped into Derek – and Derek didn’t move back. His eyes flicked to Stiles’ lips, tongue darting out to lick his own before he leaned down hesitantly, giving Stiles plenty of time to pull away, before gently pressing their lips together. Sparks flitted through Stiles and he smiled softly as he moved his face back.

“Is this about...” he waved his hands down at the skirt he was wearing, nerves jangling because if the answer was yes then he was going to have to stop this. He loved the wolf, but if this was just a kink for him, Stiles couldn’t – wouldn’t – be okay with it.

“No. I’ve – I wanted to do that a long time ago. The timing just – it was never right, and now it is, but I understand if you don’t – I want all of you Stiles, not just you like this or the other way, but if that’s not something you want…” That was the Derek he knew and loved, not great with the words.

“Okay,” he smiled up at Derek and tilted his chin forward again. Derek took the cue and brought his lips down softly against Stiles’ again, one hand sliding around to rest against the small of his back and the other coming up to cup his cheek. He didn’t deepen the kiss, pulling back after a moment to peck Stiles’ lips once more before stepping away.

“So, you want to get dinner sometime?” Stiles’ grin split wide across his face at the question and he nodded emphatically, hand coming up to clap Derek across the shoulder. “Yeah, yeah I really do.”

****

 **Epilogue:** Dinner went great. And so did all the dinners that followed. The world didn’t change overnight, but Stiles’ friends and family accepted and loved him – there might always be people who didn’t understand, but everyone who mattered did – and a surprising number of people who weren’t close to him too. Plus he ended up with the man he loved – something shifted between them when Derek started opening up about his family, some final space between them filling up with love and trust and understanding. Stiles wouldn’t change who he was for even an instant.


End file.
